Lately I have been having a hard time. I often feel like I am not even in control of my own emotions. There are times when I feel desperate, alone, forgotten, angry at God and myself. There are times when I feel like I feel like a burden to the community that I live in and that for some reason God is nowhere to be found in my life. The good thing is that I know that these are my imperfect emotions speaking in a broken world. Yes I do have a body that is broken and I have found that all too often I allow Satan’s lies to enter my thoughts and then I make the huge mistake of believing them.
Even though I feel desperate, alone, forgotten, angry at God and there are times when I feel like I feel like a burden to the community that I live in and that for some reason God is nowhere to be found in my life I know that these thoughts are not true.
Right now I am asking my readers to pray for me, pray that I can have the strength to not allow myself to believe these lies and live as the wonderfully made person that He made me to be. I also want to reach out and encourage those of you that may be feeling the same way and challenge you to join me in asking for prayer and fight the thoughts that Satan puts into our minds in order to tear us down.
I would like to share the lyrics of a song by Tenth Avenue North that have really been helping me through this hard time.
Hallelujah – Tenth Avenue North
At first I am afraid but not because of fear
But the Holy of Holies is drawing me near
Your voice like thunder shakes the ground I’m on
So hide my face in the shadow of Your wings, oh Lord
Hide my sin from the beauty here before Your throne
Your throne
Hallelujah for the blood of the Lamb that was slain
Hallelujah for the blood of the Lamb that was slain
And so we enter in to see Your face, yeah
We enter in to see Your face, oh God
Well I’m falling to my knees. I feel the earth beneath
With the weight of my sin, and this crushing unbelief
Could You really love me with all that I’ve done, oh Lord
You spread Your hands
And made a refuge for the weak and blessed
The weary, bruised, and broken
Took our sin. Inside Your wounds we hide away
Inside Your wounds we hide
Lyrics And Music By Tenth Avenue North
Cheers
Hi Aaron. Glad to hear you know where your real anchor lies - in the truth of God's Word - not in Satan's lies.
ReplyDeleteI want to share a verse that has encouraged me when I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the darkness and wonder where God is if He is Light and yet darkness remains.
Isaiah 50:10 states: "Who among you fears the Lord and obeys the voice (or the word) of his servant? Let him who walks in the darkness, who has no light, trust in the name of the Lord and rely on his God."
Isaiah understood what it meant to obey the Lord and yet at times felt like he was deserted by the God who had given him his calling. His experience, like yours and mine, is that there are times when we are obedient and desire to do His will and work yet feel like God has deserted the scene and left us to grope in the dark.
The verses just prior to verse 10 Isaiah affirms: "because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore I have set my face like flint,and I know that I will not be put to shame.. He who vindicates me is near.." (Isaiah 50:7, 8a)
So Aaron hang in there - The Lord stands ready to be your help and carry you through this time of darkness and struggle. We as a church are praying for you that God will give you strength to complete all your assignments, grace for every trial, healing for your body and firmness of resolve to trust when the going gets weary.
You are of tremendous worth. Jesus shed His blood for you and promised to provide for your every need. Keep on trusting Him who loves you.
In His loving grip,
Pastor Ted
Thanks for your honesty and openness Aaron! Sometimes it's hard to be so when the road is long and darkness threatens to overcome. We are over comers through Jesus and what He did for us on the cross. He is alive and at work despite the challenges we face everyday. Keep pressing on son.
ReplyDeletePhil 2:12b; 3:14 But I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Don't ever forget the call God has for you Aaron. When Satan comes at you with his lies and deception, (I'm saying this as much to myself as to you) remember to tell him where to go, and with whose authority you are telling him. You are God's child, period.
Love you!
Hi Aaron,
ReplyDeleteYour blog is an inspiration to me. You have no idea how much power you have to encourage others, and by your very being to inspire people to keep on believing. There are many of us who are not with you physically, but we ARE with you.
Claire (Erick's mom)