So after being stuck in the hospital in Rosthern for a week and being a bit depressed I am back at Bethany where I have access to the internet and I can post a much needed update to my blog! As I’m sure you can understand, I don’t have anything really exciting to post because hospitals are not the most exciting places in the world. In my previous post I wrote about how I was feeling down and wondering how I went from being happy just over a year ago to feeling like I wanted to give up a few days ago and even though I know that I don’t completely have the answer yet I do know that things have changed. I have experienced loss lately and found myself stuck here wondering about what could have been and in many cases what I believe should have been. I think that even though my week long stay in the hospital ended up putting me a week behind in my homework schedule and made me bored out of my mind it was good because it gave me a lot of time to think through what is going on in my life. I have come to the realization that I need to keep moving forward. I know that it sounds obvious and maybe it is but I guess I needed a week to get to the obvious. After Celeste and I broke up last year I stopped. Looking back it makes sense because after a three year long relationship ends sometimes you need to stop to get everything together again. The problem was that once I did start moving again it seemed like nothing worked out for me anymore. A relationship that I thought would work out failed horribly, and then I got really sick in April of last year and ended up stopping and feeling stuck again. Once again I was stuck in a hospital unable to depend on my own strength to get through each day. Once I managed to convince myself to keep going summer and working at camp came along. Camp was an amazing time for me where I feel like I was able to grow in my relationship with God and also the people I worked with in great ways. When Christina passed away in August I once again lost momentum and felt like I had become stuck. This brings me to now; a time when I feel like I can move on and let go of wondering what could have been had things gone according to plan. I can stop being upset about what should have been and learn to be glad that I still have what is.
I really have no idea if any of this post will make sense to any of you readers out there but I decided to go with it and post it anyway. I don’t know why it took me so long to come to such an obvious realization but it did and now I’m ok with being happy with what is.
If you happen to have any comments on my insane ramblings please feel free to post them. I would love to know what you think!
Sometimes in life we get the wind knocked out of us and we need to stop and take stock, reflect, be quiet within our spirit. Finally, we can move on wo feeling like life is out of control. I pray that you are moving ahead with Christ as your strength, bc if there's one thing I've learned it's that I cannot do anything in my own strength, however, I can do all things through
ReplyDeleteHim who gives me strength. Phil 4:13
May the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. 2 Thess 2:16
God be with you my dear son.
Love you!
Sometimes the most obvious things are the things we tend to overlook the most. I do this all the time. it is not just you that takes a while to come to those things that seem obvious. Yet they can be really rewarding if we take the time to really dig into those realizations.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless man,
I look forward to read more posts man