I have been thinking thinking a lot over the past few days about how happiness and depression often seem to coincide in my life at the the same time. For example, right now I am laying in a hospital bed in pain and I am stuck in a room that used to be used as a storage closet. I'm not even kidding. There are no windows, the walls are a dull colour, you can see where the shelves used to hang and it is a pretty small room. Now being in this room, sick, in pain, stressed about having to miss work I am feeling depressed. I quite often want to just break down and cry or scream at a God that I have been struggling to believe is even listening. But then again there is this white board in this prison cell like room that my girlfriend drew a picture for me on. Every time I glance at this picture I smile and I am reminded of her, the joy she brings to my life, how wonderful and beautiful she is, how my life life couldn't be complete without her. Then as I am looking at this picture and thinking of Fredylyn (my girlfriend) that depression that I felt consuming me just moments ago is fading away and being replaced by happiness.
Do you understand what I am talking about now? How it seems as though depression and happiness both exist in our lives at the same time? In my experience I have noticed that it seems as though as humans we think in a way where everything is either on or off, right or wrong. I think that by thinking this way we are over simplifying everything. Yes, right now I am in a pretty crappy situation and over the last couple days I would say that feeling depressed has been dominating my thoughts and feelings for the most part. However, there is that glimmer of happiness and hope for a better future, a different situation, a time that is coming soon where I will break through this depression that I am feeling at the moment and that time is coming soon.
I really want to encourage others that might be going through a hard times with this post. The way that I am really trying to look at this depressing situation I am in right now is that if I need to go through this in order to gain the tools to help someone else then it is worth it.
Please feel free to leave your thoughts. I would love to know what you think.
Cheers.
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